RETURN OF THE TRAUMATIC PRODIGAL ~ EXCERPT FROM " FAITH, FELONIES & FREEDOM" BY PARKER STEWART
Return of the traumatic prodigal is an excerpt from the upcoming book, " Faith, Felonies, and Freedom" by Parker
The Return of the Traumatic Prodigal:
We can all understand what it's like to have busy schedules, especially during the holiday season.
It can become natural for us to connect with people we have not heard from in quite some time and exchange pleasantries.
We might briefly share how we're learning and transforming or enjoying some new space in life. We might also find ourselves sharing to others how we have encountered some resistance phases, but are quick to cover up our trauma before getting "too personal", by swiftly sharing something small we're learning from the event or brushing off the frustration with the " I'm fine", "other than that, I'm good. No really!" roadblock responses.
But what happens when we learn to truly release what no longer serves us in a way that God has never meant for us to endure.
Finding FREEDOM: the truth is, It's quite rewarding.
However, it WILL COST YOU to get what you want but (Just know that the reward is worth it!) ...
The cost: At surface level what if we were tasked with responding to the following 10 questions.
1. What are you learning?
2. How is it transforming you?
3. What has been enjoyable?
4. What has been the resistance and what do you believe is the source of it?
5. Have you resolved the resistance?
6. How has it shifted how you show up?
*(6 is special for many of us)*
What if we celebrated the ability of learning to recognize what is and is not for us and release it. That's a big statement from the typical start of our journeys.
7. What is a recent example of learning and releasing what is and isn't for you?
8. How did it affect you before?
9. How does it affect you now?
10. Are you prepared to submit and receive your punishment?
At this point, most of us would likely run away to never return or avoid any further conversation on the subject of the matter. It would probably feel like a BIG PUNISHMENT that is Long Overdue as a result of our absence to answer these questions.
Others might start to think we have been consumed by our journey and become all but forgotten with the silence in our broken communication and downright triggered state of fear. 😝
But what if… instead of the natural categorical trauma response which is: freeze, fawn, flight, or fight we instead chose to lean into our Trauma and Heal.
What if we chose to show up in a sense like the prodigal son and return “home”…
Ahh yes… A journey in mindfulness once taught yet so quickly forgotten. Rarely seen but always present.
Punishment is not always what it seems... but the lesson is only found in those willing to submit to the torment that takes place as we push to the surface the pain within and then allow it to be released. The pain which is exacted becomes the pound of flesh of which sates the penance required in order to obtain the reward of self-growth…
My dear friends here presents an opportunity not often given and even less received, however, one which unlocks a gift worth more than all the riches the world can provide. A sense of true inner peace and confidence that is not easily sabotaged by the fragility of one's self-judging mind and others’ incessant scrutinies.
..... Our natural response at this point might be to state our absence as unintentional, we most likely would minimize or even straight-up avoid and refuse to state the obvious.
The truth is abstract at this moment. It is simply left to the sands of time as to the merit of which it bares. We have come to all know the saying, time reveals the truth, as it has in so many ways already past, present, and future, in the lives of us and others. Having the knowledge that entire societies and even civilizations rise and fall with the integrity of one's word.
Let us recognize the borders of exchange:
Our initial 10 question response was merely opening up our already basic shared information and is an attempt to draw out the fruit of the conversation. The desire to extract the sweet inner prize of knowledge from its hard candy shell.
I personally do not find myself aroused by kiddie pool conversation; it leaves me feeling cheapened, devalued, and hardly worth my already limited time. Any engagement that must be transacted at arm’s length can be found epidemically in society and I choose to leave it there and nowhere near my table.
So in this essence time has clearly passed, and it is the result of a specific sequencing of events that have taken place.
Opportunity opened up desire, desire opened up trust, trust opened up education, education opened up trauma, trauma created fear, fear gave way to curiosity, curiosity gave way to exploration was followed by adventure, adventure-created absence, with absence there created a void and the void that could not be filled returned opportunity.
One might find this common journey to be a bit of a tytrels circle in its own rights.
While the journey is quite prolific it is truly a test of integrity that sheds light on the tenants of mindfulness.
Given the time of absence, our early questions are simply knocking at the door to explore if there is an opportunity still present to return to the original intents of our desire in diving into substance that is sustenance. Or as my love would equate to, soul food.
Keeping that in mind I ask for your consent to explore the following space…
Would it be fair to suffice that from your response given, the natural initial inner brat retort might get the shallow end attention you desire.... but the rapid shift to submission is what your inner self needs and subconsciously truly desires? Do you desire to bloom like a wildflower into the deeper folds of growth, affirmation, and acknowledgment?
While I am not one to typically fall into the pit of despairing assumptions… My analytical abilities and rapid assessment quickly would respond with a follow-up question.
Do you find there is still a void in satisfying your cravings for energy exchange and self-fulfillment that is not simply transactional but intentionally relational built? Are you aware of any spaces where you might be showing up as an energy vampire? If so, where and why?
Does it feel and seem only momentarily satisfactory and that there is not enough from each “hit” and it only keeps you longing for the next exploration like one active in addiction?
What are the remaining insecurities that result in such a rapid shift from brat-like behavior to submissive behavior, which is found present even within the prior text?
How have you been doing in honoring the balance of energy in your life and those that surround you intentionally and unintentionally?
Are you aware of any blind spots in your oath to mindfulness?
How are you honoring any contractual agreements or covenants you might have made with yourself and others?
Are you aware of your current energy and its effect on others?
What residual energy are you leaving behind and what effects does it have on others as you continue to shift about into new spaces?
Are you ready to dig in the depths or satisfied with complacency?
If this is a touch and go, I celebrate your newfound and emboldened courage. I pray that all of which you deserve comes to you exponentially.
If this is seeking an opportunity to return to the table I look forward to your responses and exploring in new empowered ways that share laughter and celebration, courage and exploration, and yet provide mercy and grace with an increased desire to deepen the roots of healthy communication and intentionally and a sworn allegiance that is held by blood to what is truly meant to be.
Love you, brothers and sisters. 💛😊💪🙏💛